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Chapter 6: Griffin versus The Universe

GRIFFIN

The rest of the week goes by just fine and for once, things start to feel more normal. Chase and I are hanging out in the same ways we always did- except for a few times he's pulled away by Caleb. I've learned to accept it- knowing that this sorta thing happens whenever either of us is seeing someone new, so I don't take it personally. Chase has been good about not choosing sides, which gives me enough motivation to stop my shit and be there for him.

Friday rolls around, and after a quick change in my room, I'm headed downtown to meet up with Alec at this Café he's been telling me about. I decided yesterday that I need to have some sort of life outside of Chase if I want to keep myself sane.

It's nearly eight when I finally make it to the quaint double doors and find him sitting at the far booth, nestled among the potted plants.

He waves at me as I slide in, "Glad you could make it, man."

"Me too. So how ya been?"

He shrugs, "Classes have been a bitch, but I just had a midterm today so it's bound to slow down. How about you?"

"Doing alright. Kinda just cruising 'til Thanksgiving to be honest."

Alec smiles, "That's good man. My friends and I all finished up our midterms today so we're meeting up at this club later." He gets this mischievous grin on his face, "You should totally come with us!"

I shake my head repeated, "No thanks dude. Clubs aren't really my thing." I instantly picture myself in the middle of a crowded dance floor with streaks of neon lights all over my face and the worst EDM remix I can think of- it's not a pretty sight.

He looks at me like someone who won't take no for an answer, "Come on man. It's the first time we're actually hanging out and idk about you but I need a good night's distraction."

I fold, knowing I have nothing better to do tonight. "Okay yeah."

Alec lights up and calls the waiter over to order us two drinks. I give him a questioning look to which he responds, "Might as well start now."

A little bit later, we're drinking down whiskey sours and sharing a handful of small plates because neither of us could decide on what we wanted. In between bites of food and sips of a drink I'm not used to, I think about how nice this feels. Alec doesn't have some ulterior motive- he's not trying to get in my pants or use me. I can't say the same for the guy I was a few months ago. Alec's just here, offering his friendship and fake ID.

We manage to eat our way through nearly all of the plates in about a half hour. I'm sitting on what's left of my drink while Alec is having an inner conflict with himself about whether or not he can eat that last bit of queso fundido. He sets the chip down and raises his hands in defeat. He tells me that the club we're going to is under a dozen blocks away which gives us more than enough time to burn off all this food. After splitting the check cleanly down the middle, we grab our jackets and head out.

We make it a couple blocks, mostly chit-chatting when my phone goes off.

"Answer it, dude." He says without question as he continues to lead the way.

I shoot him a nod and look to see that it's Chase who's calling me, "Hey" I say.

"Griff, what're you up to man? I swing by your room but you weren't there."

The universe clearly doesn't want me to spend too much time apart.

"I just had dinner with this guy I met the other week and we're gonna go meet up with his friends in a bit."

"Hmm." Chase says on his end and I can clearly see that face he uses when saying something snarky. "New guy is it?"

I roll my eyes, "This one's just a friend, dude." I look over at Alec who's busy texting away on his phone- hopefully busy enough to not hear what I'm saying.

Before he can press me, I ask, "Wait why are you even calling? I thought you're supposed to be at dinner with Caleb right now?"

"I was, but he had to cancel- said he had to cover a last minute shift for one of his front desk coworkers." There's a slight pause on his end. "Is it cool if I crash your little hangout?"

"Uh. Gimme a sec." I cover the phone and bump Alec in the shoulder to get his attention. He turns to me, "Hey, Chase's boyfriend bailed on him. Is it cool if I invite him to come out with us?"

Alec gets this devilish grin and I immediately regret asking him in the first place. "The more the merrier." He says, almost comically as he pulls up the directions on his phone.

I get back on the phone to tell Chase to meet us there and he's already changing before I can even hang up.

Alec waits until I slip my phone back before nudging my arm, "So Chase wouldn't happen to be the dude you're pining over, would he?"

I accept defeat. "Guilty."

That same devilish grin returns to his face, "I definitely gotta meet this guy and see why he's got you all tangled in knots." He's poking at my side as his little jabs hit my ears. Alec stops as we're walking, noticing rus escort that I've tensed up a bit.

"So what's the deal with you and him, by the way?"

I dig my hands into the safety of the jean-clad pockets. "More of the same. Chase still has no idea that I have feelings for him and I don't think I'm ever gonna tell him." I look up at all the bright storefronts around us. "Oh and he's got a new boyfriend that he's pretty into- so there's that."

I feel like I've just said that last words to some stand up comedy show, except no one in in the audience is laughing but me. Alec wears his discomfort well, offering me a pat on the shoulder, "You clearly don't want him out of your life. Have you tried to give it some space-you know, so the wounds aren't so fresh all the time?"

"I've been trying. Hell, this was the first night in a week that I spent without him and yet-" I pick up my phone as evidence, "he's on his way."

"The universe clearly doesn't want us to be together, but it sure as hell won't let us be apart."

Alec shakes his head, "It's like the Greek myth of the guy who pissed off the gods, so he spent the rest of his life forever hungry, but never able to reach the grapes that hung just above him."

That resonates too well with me. "What was his name again?"

Alec shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know. I barely passed that ancient lit class I took last semester." He cracks a smile and it's enough to get a smirk out of me. I shove him lightly and we're both standing there on some random street laughing to a joke that's not even funny.

"Piece of advice?"

I sneer, "As long as I don't have to pay you for it."

He shakes his head, "If you really can't be apart from him, then when you are together, make it count. Chase doesn't know about any of this, so don't punish him for not being able to figure it out."

I stare at him in awe, thinking about how shitty I've been for even thinking about a life without him.

"You may have barely passed Ancient Lit, but you're acing Psychology."

Alec laughs and punches me in the shoulder, "Shut up, dude. Now let's get going- my friends just made it to the club."

***

A couple blocks later and we make it to a place called Tobu that's got a line wrapped around the block. Alec by-passes the entire thing and walks straight up to the bouncer- a burly looking guy who can't have been more than a few years older than us. He seems to recognize him and, after a quick chat, let's both of us in without so much as checking our ID's. The doors close slowly as the whining of everyone else who actually stood in line fades out through the music.

Alec turns to me, "He's dating one of my friends, so he lets us in whenever he's on shift. Be sure to let Chase know to mention my name when he gets here."

I nod, not just at the connection but at the scene that unfolds before me. This place is huge- somewhat of an empty warehouse that's been retrofitted into a double-height night club. There's a DJ at the far end of the space propped up on what looks to be an altar, along with a stylized "T" logo like this club's version of a crucifix. Alec leads me through a sea of moving bodies that are dancing to some Seven Lions remix that always pops up on my Spotify, but I never actually listen to. He eventually spots his friends nestled in one of the corner booths who holler when they see us.

Alec gives hugs all around and introduces me to everyone. I catch some weird faces when he refers to me as a friend- almost as if him bringing a new guy into their circle was some preface for a boyfriend. I guess we are alike after all.

Melanie, the girl who's dating the bouncer, wraps me in a big hug as she calls for one of the waters to bring us a round of shots. She nestles herself in between the two of us as Alec starts talking to the rest of his friend.

She leans into me, asking a simple, "Straight or taken?"

I look at her, confused, "Sorry what?"

She chuckles, "Alec is one of the hottest and coolest guys there is. So if you're only a friend-" she really emphasized the word, "then that means you're either straight or taken."

I wince, "It's complicated. I'm definitely not straight, but also definitely not in a relationship."

She seems satisfied with that answer, at least for now. Melanie pulls an unopened beer from a waiter that's walking past and tells him, "Just put this on my tab." The dude is so taken aback that he doesn't even question it and scurries off to the bar to get another one. She knocks the cap off on the stainless steel table and hands it to me before reaching for her own drink.

"Either way, glad you could hang out with us." We cheers and take a drink before she slips off to go dance with one of their other friends. I watch the two of them bee-line towards the dance floor and soon their bodies are covered in every neon light in the spectrum.

Then out of the corner of my eye, I see Chase, sincan escort walking around like a lost puppy. He's wearing that white button up shirt that seems to change color every time one of the lights shine on him. Before I could even call his name, he spots me, and that confused look turns to a bright smile that's big enough to light up this entire place. God, I love that smile.

Chase comes up and hugs me, giving me a few seconds to take in his cologne. "Find the place ok?"

He nods, "Yeah. I swear when you texted those directions, I legit thought I was walking into some murder location. This place looks super sketchy from the back."

I laugh, "You can tell that we don't go out that often."

"You got that right."

I turn and introduce him to Alec who gives me a wink once they've shaken hands. He's definitely gonna tease me about this later. Alec pulls my friend by the wrist and makes the grand intro to all of his friends. He takes a seat next to me just as Melanie and their other friend Candice come back from the dance floor. She does a double take when she sees Chase and leans in to whisper in my ear, "Complicated?" she asks.

I nod, "Let me guess. You're a psychology major too?"

She reaches for her drink and, after shoving the paper umbrella to the side, takes a long sip. "I swear you gay guys are worse than us girls."

I roll my eyes and she blows me a kiss before pulling another one of their friends, who was in mid-conversation with Chase, out to dance. He chuckles then moves closer to me so we can actually hear each other over this blazing music.

"So, everyone seems really nice."

"Yeah, they are."

He looks around to see who of them are still left at the booth with us, then raises an eyebrow, "So you and Alec, huh?" I look into those eyes that are even bluer than the glass of Curacao that Candice is nursing and see what looks to be a hint of jealousy. I brush off that idea as quickly as the DJ changes songs.

I check to see that Alec's off at the bar and shake my head, "It's not like that with him. He's just cool to talk to." I pause for a second, "especially when you're not around."

Chase lightly pumps his fist on my chest, "Since when did you get all soft on me, Griff?" He has that signature smile that looks like it's run miles away from that insecure look he was giving me a few seconds ago.

"Maybe there are some things you don't know about me." I lay that sentence out like a hand of cards that only I know the true value of. Chase doesn't question them or probe me for an explanation, instead he just gives me an affirmative look before being whisked away by Melanie to the dance floor.

The crowd that surrounded the dance floor seems to dissipate as the music slows down a bit. The shuffling turns into more of a sway as the bright blue and pink lights circle around like helicopter lights over a dusty city. Chase is still there, moving along to the music by himself after Melanie and her friend Lance went off to get some air outside. There's still a good number of people out there but all I see is that hurricane of blonde hair that I want nothing more than to run my fingers through. I get up off my seat and feel myself moving towards him like a magnet coming in contact with steel.

Chase gets that excited look when he sees that I'm there. I take a second to analyze what he's doing and try to fashion myself into someone who knows how to dance. He gives me an impressed look and moves along with me. Soon, I'm not even conscious of my actions anymore. I stop having to think about what to do with my legs and hands. I even close my eyes at one point, just letting the music pull all of the strings for me. After a couple of songs, the two of us are glistening in a light sheen of sweat. We're like two tops spinning dangerously close to each other, but not close enough that either will fall down.

And that's when I see it.

I look to my left, just over his shoulder and see Caleb tucked away by one of the standing tables, making out with some guy who's clearly not Chase. He's got his hands wrapped around this twink and his tongue so far down his throat, I feel my stomach turn. The other guy is letting his hands explore Caleb's back underneath his t-shirt like a boy who knows exactly what he wants.

I take a split second to think of any possible explanation to all of this, but there isn't one. Caleb lied about where he was, all so he could be here sucking face with some guy that's not his boyfriend.

I stay still long enough for Chase to notice. "What are you staring at?" he asks as he snaps his fingers in my face to get my attention.

But I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to do. He finally turns around to see for himself and I watch as every ounce of happiness leaves my best friend's body. He catches Caleb sucking on the twink's exposed neck, leaving hickeys that even we can see from this far away. As if that wasn't sıhhiye escort enough, he has his hands under the waist of the boy's jeans, groping him at the far end of the club where he assumed, no one could see.

But we do.

Chase doesn't say anything. He has his mouth open like words are trying to form but nothing is coming out. I shake him a few times to try and get a response, but nothing. I look again and see the twink nudging Caleb in our direction. Even in this barely-lit club, I can see his face go completely white. He pulls off the other guy as soon as he sees us and starts walking in our direction. But Chase doesn't let him get far. He pulls away from me and storms off towards the exit while Caleb goes running after him.

I quickly go back to the booth and grab both of our jackets while Alec tries to ask what's happened. I reach into my wallet and hand him enough cash to cover our drinks and more, and tell him that we have to go. He nods and I set off to find Chase.

Once I get out of the club, I pan through the crowds of people leaving, but can't seem to find him anywhere. Caleb too, is nowhere to be found- which is for the best, considering what I'd like to do if I see his smug face again. I pull out my phone to call him, only to hear that ringtone coming from his jacket that I'm holding.

Fuck.

I walk down what feels to be a dozen blocks before I see that beacon of blonde hair walking down the street. I run up and catch his wrist before he turns. For a second, I see rage- like he was expecting to see Caleb running after him. But that rage vanishes entirely when he sees that it's me. He raises his arms up and pulls me into a desperate hug, locking his hands behind my shoulders. I can't see his face anymore, but I know that it's broken. He leans his weight on me, almost as if he's let go of that last bit of strength he was holding onto and I'm let supporting the two of us.

"Talk to me Chase." I keep my voice soft so only he can hear me. He's the only person who matters- tonight and every night if I'm being honest with myself.

I feel moisture on my neck as he sniffles, trying to compose himself.

"Please take me home, Griff."

***

The ride back to campus is somber. The two of us are in the back of an uber with a driver who, thankfully, doesn't say any more than a quick "Hello" and "Where are we headed?" Chase is sitting as far into the door as possible, leaving me straddling the middle seat of this bench. He's close- so close that I can smell the faint wafts of alcohol every time he exhales. But I don't touch him. I stay within an inch or two away- just in case he needs me.

The uber drops us off just by the main gate and Chase takes a second to look around. He rushes past Caleb's building- almost like he's afraid we'll run into him again. Once the coast is clear, he slows his walking as we make our way to our dorm. He's like a fucking ghost- just walking beside me and barely slipping through the front and elevator doors. We make it to our floor and he stops just at the lobby, not knowing which direction he wants to go. So, I turn right to head towards his room and he follows behind me.

Once we're inside, I hear him sigh, like he's been holding that in since we left the club. He sits on his bed, ripping off his shoes and throwing them to the side in frustration. He looks up to see that I'm still here and decides to contain his anger. I sit down right next to him and wrap my arm around his shoulder but he doesn't recoil. He lets me hold him like this.

When I feel like enough time as passed, I pull away and stand up. I retrieve his phone from his jacket and set it on the table just by his bed. I grab my jacket and start walking towards the door.

"Griff" He calls out, "I really can't be alone tonight." It's the first thing he's said to me since we left and I can hear the fatigue in his voice.

I turn and look at the lost boy who's sitting right in front of me. "Okay. I'll stay."

He nods in appreciation as I head to his closet to pull some clothes I think he'd want to wear to bed. We change into something more comfortable and I watch him toss the old clothes aside like painful memories he doesn't want to revisit. Chase pushes himself to the far side of the bed, leaving the space where he once was, for me. I slip beside him and pull the blankets so they cover both of our bodies.

We both lay there, looking up at the popcorn ceiling of his dorm. It's getting late now, and the curtains that Chase has on his window, leave the room pitch back. The only thing that tells me he's still awake are the unsteady breaths that he takes, almost like he's trying not to break down next to me.

"I think I'm gonna break up with him." He says, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Did he tell you anything when he followed you outside?"

He shakes his head, "He tried. But I pushed him away before he could explain himself." Chase turns to me, holding his body in place with a bent elbow, "I just couldn't do it earlier Griff. I knew that if I let him talk to me, I would've probably forgiven him or I would have found some way to turn this into my fault.

I grab his shoulder, "But it's not your fault."

He shakes his head, "I wouldn't have been able to see that then. That's why I ran away until you found me."