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Steve and I just had a massive row and now I'm sitting in this bar alone, drowning my anger and sorrow in Vodka. We fight a lot these days. It's kind of become a habit, but this time was different. This time we both threw our hands up after a while and gave up. He tearfully went to bed and I ended up here. I look around and my heart sinks. Look at everyone. They're all out with their friends, exactly what should be done on a Friday night. Everyone's enjoying themselves and being happy. The worlds still going around and I'm sitting here. Still. I return my focus back to my drink. Vodka. My best friend - I can always rely on you. As I raise the glass to my lips. A hand encloses around mine on the glass and moves it away from my lips. The hand lets go. I look over my shoulder to see my husbands brother Dennis. He has a look of concern in his eyes. His idiot brother probably already called him and told him I "went off on one" and walked out. Bastard. He always blames it on me.* "Elena...Drinking won't solve anything," he says firmly. Oh yeah right, like he knows. A few months ago he was a raging alcoholic. I ignore him and carry on drinking. Dennis sighs heavily and takes a seat on the stool beside me. Great. He's going to lecture me again. His precious little brother Steve can't fight his own battles.* "Listen Dennis...Let me stop you right here. I don't need a "talking to." Your brother is a fucking douche-bag. He has been for months, so if you're going to sit here and tell me what an asshole I am, you better leave. Right now."* Dennis nods as if to say he understands but he doesn't leave.* "Elena, I'm not here to lecture you." "Then why are you here? bursa escort Because as I recall, that's exactly what you come here for. Every fucking time." Dennis flinches. Maybe I was a little harsh. Truth hurts. "I'm here because I don't want you to believe that I'm taking his side because he's my brother. I know exactly what he is and I'm sorry for fighting his side all these years. You're right."* I look up from my glass and my hard expression softens as I see the sincerity in Dennis's beautiful blue eyes. He's so different from his brother. Steve is the stud of the family. He has the polished entrepreneur look. Always clean shaven, intense midnight blue eyes and a broad physique. Dennis is different. Dennis has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. He's less polished than his brother. He has stubble, the most defined jaw line and he's more of a tall hunk. He looks like a bouncer but he's really the sensitive one in the family. Always fighting for them even when they're wrong. He's their soldier. "Listen," he says, "lets take you back to mine and get you sobered up. You can't deal with things in this state." Dennis gets up from his chair and puts his hand out to me. I slap it away and turn my head. "You think I want to go back? Dennis?you have no idea what my marriage is like. We've been fighting for hardly any reason for almost three years now. And every time, it's the same damn thing. We fight. He cries. I drink. I go back. I grovel. We have horrible sex. Repeat cycle. I don't want to do this anymore?"* Tears begin to form in my eyes and I wipe one away quickly so Dennis doesn't notice. He does. He puts one strong arm around bursa escort bayan me and pulls me into his chest.* "Come to mine Elena. I'll make it ok. I promise," he whispers.* I pull away and nod. He smiles in relief. 20 minutes later, we're sitting on Dennis's couch, drinking tea.* "What do you want to do?" he asks.* "I don't know," I whisper in response. Gazing into my mug as if it holds a clue. Or better yet, the answers. "You know what I think? Finish your tea, then go over there and fix it. I know it's always you putting the pieces back together but sometimes it just has to be that way. Steve loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't have called me. So just go there and make up with him. Once more. If it doesn't work out this final time, then screw it. You deserve better." I think about Dennis's advice. Maybe he's right. If I tell Steve this is the last time, maybe he'll try harder. I quickly finish my tea and put the mug on the table. Dennis puts his down and stands up. I follow his action and we briefly hug. "Let me know how it goes ok? If it doesn't work out then you can come back here." 30 minutes later I am back at the house ready to fix things. I look at the time. 11pm. I exhale and make my way up to my bedroom, swinging the door open with certainty. Steve is sitting on the bed, staring at a photo frame. Oh...There's me thinking he'd be curled up into a ball and crying his heart out. A girl can dream. He puts the frame aside and gets up, walking over to me with sorrow in his eyes. "Elena...I hate this. I hate fighting with you. Please let's fix this," he says. I melt at the guilt in his voice. He means it. I mean, escort bursa he means it every time but this time he really means it. He knows this is the last straw. Our last chance before we know it can't be fixed anymore. I nod and he smiles in relief.* Without even discussing it any further, or even mentioning the fight, he starts to undress me and himself as he desperately kisses my lips. Deja Vu...This isn't any different from the last make up...or*the one before...or the one before. If we deal with this the same way we've always dealt with it then how will this time be any different? I look at Steve's face and I feel a tugging at my heart. This isn't going to work. Steve backs me up until we fall onto our bed. The same bed we made love in for the first time. This is where our life began together. We fought on here. We laughed. We cried. We made love. We broke up?.No, no, no! I shake my head, trying to dismiss that last thought. I hold onto Steve and bury my gaze into his as he enters me. I don't even moan. I can't feel anything. I feel numb...and sick. "How's this baby?" he asks as he rhythmically thrusts his hard cock inside me. I look at him...speechless. "I-I can't?" I say and push him off of me. Steve rolls over to the side and sits up. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks with an expression of confusion on his face.* "We're kidding ourselves Steve. We can't make love anymore. Our love died a long time ago," I say tearfully as I dress myself quickly. Steve hangs his head down in heartbreak. I take in what I'm seeing and in my heart, where I usually feel love and sympathy for him, I feel nothing. Once I'm dressed, I walk over to him and kneel down to kiss him for one last time. He doesn't kiss me back, but I feel a tear run down his cheek and land on mine. I whisper, "sorry," into his hear and leave without looking back. 15 minutes later I'm back at Dennis's, standing outside his front door - breathless.