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Jeff Zephyr's Life JZL05_01: "The BeginnI was a c***d of the sixties, born about the time that John Kennedycame along to shake things up. The times they were a-changing. Myparents were 50's k**s, and my mom was just 16 when she had me. Mydad had his Harley, and I and mom rode behind him (before car seatlaws and helmets), and we lived with my dad's mom and aunt, who wealways called just Grandma and Auntie. I don't recall anythingspecifically related to sex before five years old, and even then it isvague. Like many k**s, I got to see my parents naked. The fact thatthe path from my bedroom, which I shared with my younger brother Jack,to the rest of our house passed through my parent's room, made thathappen a bit more often than it might for some k**s. But at that age,it didn't make any special impression on me, it was "just there." Thesame applied to seeing my newborn baby sister, Cher. A naked babywasn't anything sexual, even if she was a girl.Our family lived in large Midwestern US city. We were a melting-potfamily, with most of the European cultures represented somewhere inthe line, plus some Native Americans, and a few others s**ttered aboutin our family tree. Our own household was nominally Methodist, but we rarely went tochurch with Grandma and her sister. But other relatives were Catholicor Lutheran, and dad openly claimed to be agnostic. This led to arather cosmopolitan religious upbringing, up to the point where daddecided that we really didn't need to go along with our relatives tochurch at all. I mention religion because it has a big impact in manypeople's lives; as does the lack of it.With both parents working for a while, or mom otherwise busy,babysitting was required. Sometimes we'd get dropped off atGrandma's, other times at other friends of my parents. One family wasa big, old-style one with eight k**s, a couple grown up (one of whomwas my dad's good friend), and a girl named Sheila who'd watch us.Sheila was about 14, and got stuck watching all the younger k**s; herthree sisters (Marilyn was oldest at 7) and my brother and I,sometimes my baby sister too. Her older sisters and brothers didn'thelp out with c***d watching and often they left, leaving Sheila incharge of us, alone in the house.A five year old boy and his three year old brother have little chanceof controlling a situation with four girls, especially when one isthe babysitter, taking charge of everything. That meant playing dressup and dolls, and other girls' games; not the kind of things boys aretraditionally taught to do or that we'd usually play at home or withother k**s. But it was much better than doing nothing and the girlsand Sheila all seemed to like playing with us, so we didn't mind.Playing "dress up" required us to undress, in order to change into newoutfits. Sheila let us do that in her closet, so we didn't have to bein our underwear in front of her the whole time, or with the otherk**s watching. It was dark in the closet, so we'd leave the doorcracked open in order to see what we were doing. Often Sheila wouldhelp us change, so she'd get to see us anyway. Plus, she usually selected a boy and girl pair up for the game, so one of the girlswould be in there with me as we'd change together. Being only five, Iwasn't embarrassed about being undressed around friends orbabysitters, even if they were girls. So this was just for fun,nothing to talk to mom about ... just another game.In the dark, or even the shadows with the closet door open, wecouldn't see much. We weren't getting completely undressed either,always keeping our underwear on. So, this wasn't like we were playingcompletely naked, actually not much different from sleep- oversituations.However, Sheila liked to give us baths, especially when her parentswere out, which was quite often. She would undress us, then stay towatch us and help us bathe. Again, this didn't seem like a big dealto me. Grandma, Auntie and other adult babysitters didn't make mefeel embarrassed to be naked around them. Jack, who was only three,didn't seem to notice this at all, or to think it was in any wayunusual.Most times, Jack and I would be in the tub together. But the otherthree girls would come in while we were drying off, and undress to getin the tub, so we'd see them naked, and they'd see us. And, ofcourse, Sheila got to see all of us k**s naked. Sometimes, Sheilawould have Marilyn, the oldest girl, in the tub with me, and Jack andthe two littler ones together. "To save time," she'd tell us.All of us k**s would look at each other and make teasing remarks aboutbeing "nudie," seeing bare weenies, and pussies showing, but nothingmore than that happened. This still didn't seem unusual to me, justpart of our normal playing and c***d-care arrangements. I didn't eventalk to mom about it because it wasn't anything strange. It wasn'tuntil later that I noticed that Sheila was doing this kind of boy andgirl baths together only when her parents were out, and by then Ididn't care.One afternoon, Sheila decided we should play a new game called"Models." As in artist or photographer's models, or playboycenterfolds. We were alone in the house, just us k**s and her, withno parents, older brothers or sisters expected for a long time. Shetook us all into our room where we played the dress up game. Thistime, she had new rules for it."Everybody, get naked!" Sheila ordered.Stripping openly to underwear didn't seem to bug us, and we all didthat part quickly enough. Naked was different, though. It wasn'tlike we were getting ready for a bath. Marilyn stopped, standingthere in just her panties, and asked "Why do we have to get naked? How come you don't have to, too?""Sure, that would be fun, OK?" Sheila answered. "This game only worksif you don't wear clothes, a kind of undress-up game," she said,laughing. I didn't understand the joke, or why she kocaeli escort laughed so longabout it.Saying that, Sheila took her dress off, then her bra and panties. This was the first time she'd taken her underwear off in front of us,and she'd rarely even gotten down to her underwear as she'd change infront of us. Now, she and the rest of us were completely naked, inher room, alone together in her house. Two young boys, three younggirls, and a pretty, naked teenage girl in charge of us, all nakedtogether.I'd often seen the other girls naked before, so that part wasn't new. My mom also had given me opportunities to see her naked, or at leasthad her private parts exposed. Not deliberately, like in this game,but it still happened. When we were out, she'd take us into thebathroom with her when she'd go, and though we weren't supposed tolook, it wasn't easy to avoid noticing her bare bottom and hairypussy. Also, when she'd take a shower, or change clothes, we k**swould either be around her room or go into the bathroom; too young toworry about, being just babies. She didn't make a fuss about thatkind of thing, not yet at least, and I didn't find it to be anythingunusual or special.Yet this was something new and exciting. I didn't know why. It wasjust interesting to look at a naked teenage girl with small, firmbreasts with pointy pink nipples. A girl with hair above her pussywas also interesting and different from the other three girls. Mom'sbreasts and pussy were, of course, much more developed yet they didn'thave this effect on me.Sheila was excited by this new game. I could hear it in her voice,especially when she told us to line up and pose so that she could lookus over."I need to see if you are ready to be models, and look right for ourmagazine," she said to us, after we were all in a row. Then she kneltin front of us and looked at us closely. She spent a very long timelooking at my brother and me ... especially at me. I noticed her handwas on her pussy, as she stared at my genitals, her face right infront of them. This wasn't an accidental exposure, nor a brief bit ofexploration. Whatever made Sheila so excited, it was a bitcontagious, so I liked this game. The others didn't seem to have thesame reaction to it.Sheila spent a long time that day, having us pose. Standing, sittingon the bed, laying on the bed, standing in her open doorway, side byside, girl and boy together. She acted the role of photographer,miming the actions of taking pictures and would touch us to move usinto various positions, though she didn't touch our genitals as partof that. She'd take "close-up" pictures, moving her face close enoughthat I could feel her breath on my naked body. She spent the mosttime with me, taking lots of pictures of my weenie. During this, itstarted to stand up stiff and straight. That happened sometimes but Ididn't know why. It wasn't unusual either, but it felt nice.Then she let us play the photographer role, taking "pictures" of eachother and herself. The game quickly broke down after that as herthree sisters and my brother lost interest and reverted to playingchase, then finding toys to play with or romping about naked butotherwise playing ordinary k** games. Sheila and I, though, continued playing the modeling game. Encouraged by Sheila, I looked very closely at her naked body,pretending to take pictures, and touched her to help her pose for me.Very closely, so I could smell her body, and brush against her pubichair with my face. I stared at her hard nipples which were stickingout very stiff. I hadn't seen that happen before with mom. The curly hair on her body matched that on her head , which wasinteresting and different from mom's. Unlike the younger girls, herpussy lips were concealed by hair, but they were fuller. She lay backon the bed and spread her legs , giving me a closer look at herpussy, to see the details. She told me something about the partsthere but I didn't remember it later. Mom's pussy had more hair, butI'd never seen it closeup like this, nor had a chance to just look atit without her moving away or covering up. I didn't think that momwould like me trying that, and honestly, I'd never thought about doingthat kind of thing before this day.My mom was a pretty woman, with very long, straight hair which floweddown her back. Dad and I would help brush it, which we both liked. Her breasts were mid-sized for a grown woman of about 21, but theywere much bigger than Sheila's with big nipples, and they were verybouncy breasts too, and I thought mom's looked nice. My sister wasbreast fed, like the rest of us, so I got to see them often now. Ithought her naked body was attractive, but boys often think that theirmother is the best looking woman around. Not all boys get to seetheir parents unclothed, but we did. That made this game with Sheilaseem just another kind of k**s' game; nothing wrong, just playing andhaving fun.We'd been playing like this for a couple of hours or so, hangingaround naked in Sheila's room and looking at each other. Sheilahadn't tired of watching us play naked, or coming close to look at me,or of letting me take a look at her and telling her that she looked"marvelous" while I'd pretend to take pictures. That part of the"Playboy game" was still going. The others were just playing withtoys, still stark naked, as though that didn't make any difference forplaying.The sound of our parents coming in made Sheila jump off the bed,where she was posing for me. Whispering, she urged "Hurry up, getdressed. Now!"Her panic made my heart pound; another new feeling. It took only aminute to dress, so we were back playing with our toys before anyonecame to check on us. Fully dressed, with shoes off as usual, nothingdrew our parent's attention to our new game. And although I didn't understand why we had to get dressed so fast, kocaeli escort bayan I had a feeling thatour parents might be mad for some reason. It was something like theirrule that we couldn't go outside naked anymore because we were'getting too big' for that. So I didn't say anything about it when wegot home, though Jack did but he only mentioned playing 'models' andtaking 'pretend' pictures, not about being naked because that partwasn't important.The next few visits, Sheila's mother or older brothers were home. Iknew that we didn't play the same kinds of dress up games when theywere around, but I didn't know why. I asked Sheila "What about the'Playboy game'? Will we do that again?""Sshh!" Sheila shushed me. Her older brother, about 16 or 17, was inthe room, but he probably didn't hear us, or care about what we weresaying anyway. "Don't talk about that, OK?" she said, quietly into myear.I didn't understand why, but I nodded my head and kept quiet as sheasked. Later, when we were alone, I asked "Why can't we talk aboutthat game?""It's a secret. Don't tell anyone - cross your heart and hope todie,! OK?" she asked me, making the crossing gesture with her hand asshe did that."OK, I promise," I said. Having a secret shared with this girl seemedlike fun, something very special.After that, I spent more time at home in the bathroom, looking atmyself undressed, or with my pants down, both in the mirror andlooking directly at my body. I didn't know what was special aboutgetting naked or why people bothered to take pictures of naked womenand put them in magazines. I knew about Playboy, having seen it andits centerfold pictures . I guessed there was something special aboutpictures of naked women but what the big deal was about that, I justdidn't know. However, I felt something strange just thinking aboutit, even if I couldn't give a name to the feeling.We got another chance to play with Sheila, with her in charge and noolder k**s or adults around. Our parents weren't expected back sooneither, so we'd have a lot of time to play. It started out like adress up game, this new play, except that everyone stripped naked tochange into their costumes, rather than just down to their underwear. Sheila got naked too, rather than directing us as she usually did or undressing only to her underwear where we couldn't watch. Ourcostumes also weren't clothes. We put on sheets, blankets, orscarves, not real clothing but just something to d**** over us, stillleaving us naked and exposed under them. Sheila posed us so ourprivate parts were uncovered, even with other places hidden.Next, Sheila started a new game; kind of like hide and seek with thelights out. It didn't stay hide and seek long, instead turning intonaked wrestling and tag; chasing, squealing and giggling as we'd catcheach other and grab on, running around her room in the dark. Wehadn't touched each other much while naked before, not even when wetook baths together. At least, not in our private areas. Then Sheilacaught me , holding my weenie in her hand and squeezing it, but shelet go when I squealed. It wasn't in pain, just surprise. I ran off, trying to catch her or one of the other girls and grabthem the same way. We all bumped into each other in the dark, and Ithink I caught either Marilyn or the next youngest girl between thelegs but there wasn't anything to squeeze or hold onto so she slippedaway. The younger girls and my brother ended up chasing each other around,rolling around on the floor, while Sheila caught me and pressed medown onto her bed, pinning me in a wrestling move, her naked body ontop of mine. She caught my weenie again, holding it, pressing andrubbing her hand around it, which made it suddenly turn stiff. This was a new, very surprising sensation. I'd touched myself therewhile washing up, or just to adjust it in my pants, but this wasdifferent. I wasn't scared, just surprised. It felt nice, truly. She rolled off me, and lay side by side with me, her body pressedagainst mine. She asked me "Jeff, touch my pussy."I did it. This wasn't like the quick rub I got with her sisters,since she didn't try to get away, no more than I was trying to escapefrom her hand. In the dark, I couldn't tell for sure where I wastouching but the hair above it was easy to find. The moist openingbelow was warm so I rubbed my fingers across it. I didn't know whather wetness meant, thinking it was probably just sweat. Touching herthere made her wiggle and laugh, as though it tickled. I petted herpussy upwards, where her pussy fur grew above her wet opening, andthat seemed to relax her. All the while, she was touching me, tellingme how nice my weenie felt and encouraging me to continue. She puther other hand on my chest, and stroked there softly.Things might have become even more interesting if we had been able tocontinue touching each other in the dark but, with the all laughingand running of the others, we didn't hear our parents return earlierthan expected. When we finally heard them , Sheila jumped off the badand cried out "Everyone get dressed, quick ... right now!" Shesounded very frightened and that scared the rest of us, especially inthe dark room, with the other k**s running and playing.It was too late. Sheila pushed us into the closet with our clothesand pulled her own dress on with nothing under it. Two naked littlegirls (the youngest dove under Sheila's bed) and two boys tried tosort out their clothes and get dressed in the dark, trying to bequiet. It wasn't possible, but still we tried.We heard my mom come in the room, looking for us, wondering what allthe noise was about. Sheila explained we were playing hide and seekbut mom could hear us in the closet. It may not have mattered, shewould have looked anyway, but that made her find us sooner.Mom opened the closet door, and found us in various izmit escort states of undress.I had my underwear on, but everyone else was still bottomless. Shestarted to yell at Sheila, and at us. We were dragged out ofSheila's room as we were, picking up our clothes, which got everyone'sattention. Both sets of parents tore into us, especially Sheila whohad let us play naked.None of us told on Sheila, who managed to look dressed and maybe hadeven gotten her panties on as well. I mentioned nothing at all of ourtouching in the dark. I might have, as I didn't know it was any bigdeal, but the next thing that happened discouraged any talk about thisstuff at all.My dad whipped both of us boys right there, pants down, using hisbelt, right in their living room. I can't remember exactly what hesaid, something about boys not playing with girls naked because thatwas wrong. I didn't understand why, and he didn't explain. When Imentioned seeing him and mom naked together, that just made himmadder. Sheila's parents were screaming at her for letting this kindof thing happen so I quit trying to talk about it. My ass hurt fromthe whipping, and clearly our parents weren't being rational aboutthis. I didn't have a clue about what we'd done wrong but I knewthat asking about it was just inviting further punishment.Sheila never got to babysit us again. Nor were us boys allowed toplay alone with her or with her sisters without adults around. Ireally wanted to talk with her about what happened, to understand whatwas wrong about our game. It seemed just playing, nothing bad at all. What was wrong about boys being naked with girls? Mom and dad werenaked in bed together all the time, and that wasn't a problem. I justdidn't get it but I had no desire to provoke Dad more about it so Ijust held my tongue and didn't say anything.k** memories can forget the past quickly, even scary things. Theystick inside you though, like glue. Little things can have a bigimpact. Like when my brother and I were chattering in our beds, notwilling to go to sleep, and my Dad snuck in our room and slapped hisbelt against our bunk beds. I thought to myself, 'now I'm going to beafraid of the dark', even though before that I wasn't a k** who wantednight lights or worried about sounds in the night and, sure enough, wesoon were afraid of the dark. Getting naked turned into something for my brother and I to play with;'playing bare' we called it. We would try to stay naked for awhileafter bathing, or when changing our clothes, whenever we could. Outside, we'd drop our pants to pee, then leave them down until weheard someone or just got bored standing bare- bottomed outside.One day, we did this in the bushes near our house, along the busystreet near the factory at one end. I hopped from one bush to thenext, pants down around my ankles, weenie bouncing. I dared Jack todo the same and he did. For the next couple of weeks, we played thishopping game, with our trousers down and our bare behinds showing toanyone passing on the street. Mostly cars we did hide when peoplewould walk past. I don't know why I felt no one would complain aboutthis or catch us doing it, nor why it felt like a fun game to play. It just did.Unfortunately for us, our parents also could see us if they were onthe second floor and looked out the window of our house. Dad came andcaught us, chasing after us when we ran off. When we got home, hewhipped us with his belt on our bare butts again."You can't go hopping around bare-assed through the bushes likebunnies," he told us."Why?" I asked. I asked that kind of question a lot of course. k**stend to do that, even when parents don't answer it nicely.Whack! Whack! His belt hit my bottom, giving me my only answer to that ill advised question. "You just don't, that's all. End of story.""Ow!" I cried, bawling in pain and confusion. He told me again not todo it. "Don't let me catch you doing that again!" is exactly what he said.It hurt a lot, getting spanked like that. But it didn't deter playingwith nudity outside much at all, not after a few weeks to forget. Unlike things like playing with fire which could hurt someone, therewas no good reason given for not doing it. It was wrong, that wasall. What it meant to me was that our parents would punish me if Igot caught but there was no other reason. It seemed like such fun, soall I had to do was make sure that we were far enough from home not toget caught again. I'm sure that wasn't the lesson Dad intended, butthat is what I learned from it.Jack and I stripped naked in the woods near the railroad tracks, whichran across the street east of our house. No adults came around there,so we wouldn't get caught. We'd drop our pants outside other placestoo, if we didn't think anyone might see us. No sex, no touching,just playing naked outdoors, feeling the wind and sun on our bareskins. We didn't know any girls who did this stuff , nor did we findany of the neighborhood boys who wanted to play 'bare' outside.When we moved to a new place, many miles away, outside the city by asmall lake, this 'playing bare' game stopped. I think it was becauseI was afraid, being in a new place, unsure of where the safe placesmight be. I didn't know where to hide, and living near a lake meantthat a lot of the woods and bushes around really were marshes, withwater to or mud fall in, too messy to play in.It was a nice place to be, free from the noise and traffic of thecity. Our house in the city was on a block with factories on each endand day or night we'd hear the machines running, humming, banging. Here, there was real quiet at night and that was a little scary atfirst. Frogs croaking, crickets chirping, the wind in the trees, allwere strange to me. But I quickly grew used to it and enjoyed my newhome.I'd started kindergarten in the city, and continued here in this ruralsetting. Everything seemed normal and happy. The closest things tosex during this period of my life was splashing in swimsuits at thelake, and riding the spinning wheels in the playground. Normal,everyday k** sorts of things.