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Some things you can't take back. When they're out there, they are out there forever and you just have to hope things work out. At that point, you are the mercy of fate. You're gambling. That's how Amy and I began our journey, with a total shot in the dark.

We worked together. Technically, I was her boss though I never really needed to treat her that way. She was sharp and competent and knew better than me how to do what she was hired to do.

This professional dynamic suited us well and left room for a friendship to grow. We could talk and joke as co-workers. She enjoyed my sense of humor. I loved making her laugh almost as much as I enjoyed looking at her.

She was gorgeous, tall, and fit. When she walked into a room people noticed. She loved wearing skirts to work. I would always try to subtly sneak a peak. Got pretty good at it too.

For two years our friendship grew. We began confiding in one another about more than work. Our discussions explored topics more deeply than water cooler chitchat, but there was a problem. We were both married - unhappily married, which just accelerated the intensifying attachment we began having for one another.

It all came to a head one autumn evening. My wife was out of town. She and I were rarely intimate anymore having come to realize that we were both in a very different place sexually. Amy's husband had been away for work for months. When not away, he would drink and pass out early, or drink and demand her affections. Neither of our circumstances were what you would call satisfying or healthy.

Amy and I had been talking on the phone in the evenings while our spouses were away. On the night that our world's began to flip upside down, I had been working late. I got home and there was nothing to eat in the house. I mentioned it flippantly to Amy.

"I just made chicken wings," she said. "Kids are staying with friends so I'd be happy to bring some over."

"No. I'll find something," I replied dismissively.

"Seriously, its no big deal," she pressed.

The truth was that I really wanted her to come over. My own kids were with their mother and I didn't want to be alone. But, even though her offer was completely platonic, my thoughts of her were not. I did not want to do something that would ruin our marriages, hurt our friendship, or cost us our jobs.

"No really. Its ok," I insisted.

"Why are you being weird? I'm coming over." She was relentless.

"Amy don't," I shot back. "Its not that I don't want you to come over, its that I really want you to come over."

"What? That doesn't even make sense." She was truly befuddled.

"Look," I explained. "If you were to come over tonight, you'd just be trying to something nice for a friend. kartal escort But, it wouldn't be a friend who greeted you. It would be someone who sees you as...who wants you as...something more than that."

"Oh...," she hesitated processing my awkward confession.

My heart was pounding. I regretted speaking the words almost as quickly as they had slipped out. I decided to cut my losses. "I've got to go. Thanks for the offer. I hope you understand. Goodnight."

With that I hung up the phone and rapped myself on the forehead with it. Stupid. I didn't sleep a wink that night. All of the ways that my marriage, my job, and a friendship that I really valued could end as a result of a five-minute conversation swirled in my head. Worst of all, I knew I would be seeing Amy the next day at the office. What would I say? What would she say? Calling in sick for the rest of the year was definitely considered, but I knew I was going to have to face her some time.

The next morning, I got into work early. I wanted to beat her there so that I could close my door, put my head down, and pretend like nothing had ever happened. The thought of having to walk by her cubicle after all that I had said the night before would have been an unbearable embarrassment.

She must have had the same idea. As I rounded the corner into our department's area on the first floor, there she was. Her thick curly black hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She wore a fitted powder blue blouse and a short black skirt. Her legs were crossed. She was a runner so they were perfectly sculpted and tan. The elegant lines of her calves were accentuated by the strappy black heels on her feet. I swallowed hard. My mouth instantly ran dry.

She looked up at me and then back to her computer monitor as I hurriedly strode by. "Good morning, Amy," I said with my head down.

Once in my office, I closed my door and exhaled. Maybe this would just blow over. No sooner had I sat in my chair and turned on my computer than my door came swinging open. It was Amy and she looked furious.

"Good morning? Are you kidding me?" She sounded incredulous.

"Amy, please...," I began.

"No," she pointed. "Last night, I offer to bring you dinner and then you vomit your feelings all over me before just hanging up. Then you walk into the office this morning like nothing ever even happened. What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this?"

I stood and whispered as I pleaded, "Amy please keep your voice down."

"Relax, we are the only ones here." She would not be denied and explanation. "Talk to me."

"Amy, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry," I said moving toward her." I just wanted to take everything back, kurtköy escort for things to be like they had been less than 24 hours earlier.

"You're sorry. That's it. I suppose I'm just supposed to carry the weight of this around now and pretend like nothing happened. Thanks a lot." She turned to leave.

Before I realized what I was doing, I lunged, putting myself between her and the door. I slammed it shut. She looked terrified. I put my hand on her arm to reassure her. It didn't work. She shrugged as if repulsed by my touch.

"Amy listened to me," I said, looking her dead in the eye and intentionally changing the tone of my voice in an attempt to regain some control of the situation. "You are my best friend in the whole world. Last night, I felt like I was faced with the choice of being dishonest with my best friend, or being open and risking that friendship. I respect you immensely and it just didn't feel right continuing on without leveling with you. I know it feels like I am asking you to now carry the weight of this, but I am not. I've been carrying this around for months now and I'm done doing it. If you don't feel the same about me, or if knowing that I do makes being around me too uncomfortable, that is fine and you can do what you'd like now knowing how I feel."

I slowly removed my hand from the door. She was free to leave, but she didn't. She stood there staring into my soul. Tears welled in her eyes and her lip began to quiver. We moved closer to one another, drawn in by the inescapable force of truth. I needed her and she needed me. Her lips were inches away from mine. I had dreamed of kissing them so many times and now I was so close. She paused, but I would not be denied. I cupped her cheek in my hand and pulled her to me. Our eyes closed and, gently, we kissed. It was like heaven.

As we pulled away our eyes opened and the disbelief of what we had just done filled the space between us. It, however, was quickly replaced by the animal desire that we had just unleashed. My hand on still on her cheek grabbed her firmly by the back of the head and her hands quickly came up to grab mine. Our open mouths collided and tongues hungrily began flicking, twisting, and tasting like our very lives depended on it.

I slammed Amy against the back wall of my office hard. She let out a grunt. My hard cock was straining to burst out of my pants and into her. As she ran her leg up my thigh, I grabbed her ass and pressed my pelvis to her. I rubbed myself on her as my hand slid down her leg and back up again, but this time under her skirt.

She lowered her leg as my fingers found the hem of her panties. She breathed hard into my ear as my lips moved to her neck and my fingers began maltepe escort tracing their way down between her legs. When I got close enough, she parted her legs and bent her knees like a ballerina's battement fondu. She began to lick and bite sending shivers down my spine.

I pulled away so I could see her face as I delicately moved her panties to the side and plunged my finger into her wanting pussy. Hip hips sank further as she tightened around my finger. Running her hand up my back and neck, her long fingers combed through my hair before pulling it hard. Her cunt began to convulse as she came on my finger.

She moaned and writhed. Her juices were running down my hand. I had no idea a woman could get so wet. I slid another finger in and was thanked with another orgasm. I needed to be inside of her. I needed to cum. I kissed her hard and pulled my soaking fingers out of her while her pussy still rhythmically pulsed. My belt came unbuckled with a jingle jangle. I unbuttoned my trousers and pulled down my zipper. I unfurled my cock. The tip of it was already sticky with pre-cum.

With my foot, I spread her legs wider and then violently reached back under her skirt. Tearing her panties to the side I began finger fucking her again making sure that she was still good and wet. We held our breath, looking into one another's eyes. She whispered ,"Fuck me."

She reached between her legs, grabbed my cock, and guided me in. I stretched as deep into her as I could. She was so warm. So wet. I buried my head in her shoulder and lifted her off the ground with her back still pressed firmly against the wall. Slowly, I slid in and out of her. Our hearts began to beat in time as I picked up the pace. I growled and grunted as she moaned.

I could feel her start to clinch again. She was cumming and it was running down my inner thigh. "Amy," I said as she spilled onto me." I have fallen for you. I love you."

Her expression was almost fearful. Her eyes searched my face hoping to find surety and safety. "Oh God, I love you too."

As those words penetrated my heart, I began to feel the rush of my own release building. My eyes locked with hers as I began to throb and twitch. "Yes!" she panted.

With jaw clinched and lips tight my cum began to fill her. Each spurt brought with it increasing waves of pleasure. I couldn't remember the last time that I had cum so hard. We kissed as she desperately clawed at my back and grabbed my ass not wanting it to end.

I slid out of her and buttoned myself back up. She re-positioned her underwear and straightened her skirt. She made as if she was going to leave. I grabbed her hand. "Amy, I meant what I said."

"I know. So did I, but things just got really, really, complicated for us. I'm going to take the rest of the day off to process, ok?"

"Of course," I assured her. "I understand. You will be back tomorrow though, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled and she looked over her shoulder. "Maybe we could get some lunch."

"I'd like that very much." I said.